January 2011
1 post
November 2010
2 posts
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
Late Night Laments
I’ve pooped green things. I’ve pooped all kinds of things!
- R. Kelley
August 2010
1 post
Poop Fact!
The average person makes about 1300 lbs of poop a year.
Have a great day!
June 2010
1 post
Birthday Poop
I received one of the best birthday* presents ever. My dear and darling friend, Will, gave me a birthday card made out of elephant poop. Yes folks, real life elephant poop. So. Freakin’. Awesome.
Not gonna lie, I kinda lost my shit. Figuratively, of course. :)
Thanks, Will! I love your stinkin’ face.
*Note to reader: My birthday was back in March but I’m barely getting around...
March 2010
1 post
Rabies Poop!!!!
So, my friend Pete said the most amazing thing tonight and it inspired me to revive the blog.
“I wanna have rabies poop! It would be awesome if I could poop everywhere and give everyone rabies with my poop.”
I have always appreciated my friend Pete but I think I may have fallen in love with him a little bit tonight.
November 2009
8 posts
Blog is clogged
The Poop Scoop is currently experiencing an interruption in it’s regular flow. I’m out of town and it’s hard to keep things regular.
Are farts just poop particles floating in the air?
I have encountered folks who think that farts are poop particles sent floating from the anus to infest the nostrils of others. I think this is hilarious. They think farts are offensive.
What do you think?
I’m in a rush and know I probably won’t have time to get a post up later today, so I had to find something quick and easy. What better than to google,”quick poop”? I leave you with a result from urbandictionary.com.
Quick Crap
Taking a crap in a quick manner to fool others into thinking you only peed.I had to take a quick crap last night after I brought my date home....
Plush Poop →
I don’t believe in Christmas, but I do love presents. Specifically, a soft and cuddly poop doll.
Audible Poop
As I mentioned, I moved. I left a cozy little apartment that I shared with someone I love a lot. Someone really lovely. It was really sad. How does this relate to poop you ask? This very lovely person was a noisy pooper. I thought it was hilarious. I would be sitting in the living room and could sometimes hear a poop symphony. This person had quite a talent really. When you live with someone like...
Bat Poop
This should have been posted on Halloween, sorry. I was busy moving.
Bat Poop
Funny little bats,
They don’t like cats.
They fly at night,
They are a site.
They come and go by the moonlight.
So…
Beware of where you step ~
BAT POOP!!!
This makes no sense really, but it made me laugh.
October 2009
9 posts
Super Monkey Poop Fight →
Um, holy good gravy! This. Is. Fucking. Awesome.
It’s a game. A game about poop. Monkeys and poop, two of my favorite subjects in the whole world. Need I say more. What are you waiting for? Click on the link already.
Poop Text
“… would you believe I missed my first class because I had to poop and wouldn’t have made it to school on time? True story. Enjoy the day :)”
This is an old text from a friend, but one which has yet to be beat. Did you hear that, friends? You have been challenged.
SOP →
“After all what could be more human than a bowel movement?”
Thx, W.
Poop Text
My friends poop. I love my friends. They send me texts about their poop.
“Green poop. Green!”
If ever someone was to profess their love for me using the line below, I think I may just marry them.
“My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.”
Paperless
A friend was over recently, and relayed an experience that I am sure everyone can relate to, at least a little.
” So I was totally taking a shit the other day and then realized that we had absolutely no toilet paper anywhere in the house. I mean zero. Zero. [Holds hands up to graphically represent “zero.”] So I started yelling, Billy! Billy! And then Christopher finally came...
“It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop.”
– Wisdom of Confucius